Do parents "butt in" too much in school life?

[Or-Tal Kiriati]

I have recently heard comments from teachers criticizing parents for getting too involved in school life. There remarks were made towards parents who argue on grades the kids get, who get involved in the kids arguments, in the choices the school makes regarding curriculum, choice of books, actions and reactions etc.
Some teachers even said they were concerned that as a result the children of such parents will grow to be less independent or able to improvise.
What do you think?
Could there be over involvement by parents?
What level of involvement is beneficial?

[Ian Carmichael]

It's obviously a fine line, Or-Tal. As parent and teacher, I see both sides of the issue. However, in general I could wish for more parent involvement, to promote a better understanding of the classroom contexts, educational strategies, and not just appearing from time to time to wrangle over marks.
On the other hand, if there is so much parent teacher interaction that preparation is forfeited and education suffers, then that's either over-involvement of parents, or school time allocations needing fixing.
As far as students being rendered helpless by parental interference; well, in some cases that may be so, but it's equally true that in some classrooms teachers are promoting student helplessness anyway (with rigid expectations, unexplained curriculum jumps and links, a failure to engage with student expectatiions and interests and instead just a drive to teach, assess, and move on: like an assembly-line conveyor belt.).

A real beneift of parent-teacher involvement might be the recongniton of the personhood of each!

[Or-Tal Kiriati]

Thanks, Ian.
I also think it's a fine line.
I can see cases where parents don't get involved to a point it seems they don't actually care.
On the other hand I see parents get involved to a point it looks like they want to push over the school's headmaster...
Both are extremes.
Is there a guideline for a minimum involvement you would expect a parent to have?

[cindy fadel]

I think parents should get involved in their child's education, whatever method they chose to deliver that education. I think the key is, get involved as a partner to the provider. If parents just assist to facilitate the education of their children to be sure the children are being allowed to be an individual and that those delivering the education are positive and looking for the talents and gifts of each child, not just using a bulimic system of memorization, then no matter what educational delivery system you chose, you will be an asset

[scott smith]

Hi Or-Tal,


I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago about the rocky start that my son had in kindergarten. Prior to the start of school, I had been very clear about some of the challenges that we saw in pre-school and how we were able to correct those. I had assurances from his principal and teacher that they were prepared. They were not. While we were initially miffed at the what we had deemed as a lack of preparedness, we are so thankful for the level of access that we have been granted and have been mindful our own limits.

I was able to convince to the assistant principal to let me observe the timeout procedure they were using. I will blog about this detail, but let's just say that prior to my involvement there way too much 'time' and not enough 'out. And way, way too much 'if, .....then..." negotiations.

Once we were to able to tighten up this procedure, the administration was able to see two things: yes this was a smart kid and yes, his behavior is manageable (essentially, he can 'reboot' after four minutes). Thus, the asst. principal became a key advocate in my son's case.

Many wheels were set in motion for assessments and some things started to surface, most notably that this is kid who has a high IQ and likes to move---I think had mentioned that ;). While we are glad to have input from the OT, speech pathologist, etc.; my wife and felt that the key was going to be subject- matter expertise in behavior management and curriculum differentiation.

I have been in the classroom a few times, and I immediately saw things I would like to have changed However, that is not my place. I recognize that I don't have the knowledge to make appropriate research-grounded recommendations. Furthermore, I certainly don't have objectivity.

Fortunately, the school permitted me to engage some resources from the psychology department of a nearby university. They have observed the classroom and are currently preparing recommendations for some classroom-side adjustments.

While it was rather 'easy' for me to help with the office-side behavior management. I felt that in the classroom there would some element of trial and error in the changes. That is better left to professionals than parents.

[Or-Tal Kiriati]

This is the kind of involvement parents should offer.
I wouldn't classify your involvement in your son's school life as "butting in school life". This is clearly your involvement with your son. This is a valuable contribution to the school and the people in it, who may actually learn from it for future benefit of other kids.

I am re-reading my post, made about 9 months ago.
This year our elementary school has a new headmaster. It seems like the previous one was perceived as too weak or unable to lead, which lead to some parents trying to lead the school for her. The new year has begun with someone new and everybody is interested in giving him a chance. So far, a month has passed and his presence is well felt. He actually stands at the school gate to welcome all the comers every morning. This has an impressive effect. I rate it 9 in communications... ;-)

As for the high school - things are a bit different there. The school is not welcoming any sort of involvement by the parents. The only involvement they want is the parents reaction when they are called upon in case of discipline problems.
I think there must be room for more involvement. But it has to be welcome by the school to be effective and non-disruptive.