Home Schooling - questions, answers, thoughts

[Or-Tal Kiriati]

Following Cindy's information in this discussion - click here - I decided to open a separate discussion about home schooling.
This new information certainly gave us some good topic to discuss over family dinner for the last several days.

My 15 year old admitted to me that she goes to school more for the company of her friends than for actual learning. She feels that about 90% of class time is a waste of time. She is annoyed by the long list of final exams she has to do, which includes topics in which she has no interest nor need for her planned future career.

The 11 year old initially said he would have loved homeschooling, but then started to count things at school he wouldn't like to give up, which included firstly his friends, and then several classes which he really likes. The rest doesn't disturb him that much.

The 7 year old asked me if I was serious and can he please please stay at home.

Which made me think: am I sending him to school because I am weak? Lazy? Not brave enough to walk away from "the system"? Or is it really time constraints and limited resources? I think home-schooling is a big responsibility. I don't think I can become a full time teacher, nor do I think I should be my son's teacher - beyond motherhood teaching, which is something else. I feel it is taking a 100% responsibility on his education, knowledge, skills and social life - which is also a problem, because school is still the best grounds for social development.

And I feel I really don't know enough about it.
So I invite you, Cindy, to add some information to this discussion.
And I invite other parents and teachers to discuss the pros and cons of the home-schooling.

[cindy fadel]

Hi,

The questions, thoughts, conversations with your kids and fear are all typical and good things to consider, homeschooling is not for everyone and children who attend school can be just fine, happy and come out well educated. This is not the point. Let me first just address some of your concerns, please keep in mind my comments are in no way an attempt to convince anyone to homeschool. Homeschooling or Unschooling is really more than just " schooling", it is really a " life philosophy".

First let me say NO, you are not sending your kids to school because you are weak or lazy or not brave enough. You sent them because that is what our society has set in place for the children. Many kids will follow this path and be fine. I think it is great that you are having a discussion with your kids.

Second, it probably is not time constraints or lack of resources. It takes far less time to be educated outside the system. Research has shown that kids get about 45 minutes of actual individual instruction a day in a school setting. That is why your child is saying there is a lot of wasted time. If one studies 2 hours a day at home, they will be far ahead of the game. As far as some of the positive things your kids see, it is true. Here with all the homeschoolers, our community offers these social opportunities and friends that kids are looking for, and without the anti-social exposure that is rampant in the US schools. We are not sheltering our kids from anything, but they see more authentic versions. One small example, my son rides one day a week with the ambulance. He sees the devastation of poor choices, drugs ect, it is real and he understands. It is just an example of one small thing, it happens all the time as we live life together and have lots of time to talk and discuss and really know each other.
When you homeschool you are not a full time teacher, you are just a Mom, giving your child the freedom to look for there passions, and becoming sensitive to curious moments and allow further exploration. You really just " guide from the side" and walk through life learning together. When kids are free, they will ask for what they need, it is true, as hard as it is to believe. As far as knowledge, skills and social life,I assure you these are far richer gotten from the community. On just a personal note, my experience only, the school is not the best place for social development, at least in the schools here in the US. There as so many anti-social behaviors, even in the best schools, that many nice kids get corrupted. That may not be true there. I see a healthier development in a more natural setting of " life", exposure to the community and the world, interacting as a citizen in your community.

I believe it is a decision to be made thoughtfully and certainly not every family is cut out to raise their children in this fashion. I am just giving some more understanding of the homeschool mindset.

Some very good resourses are to take a look at Rudolph Steiner and Ivan Illich, especially Steiners

" philosophy of freedom". John Holt's books such as " How Children Learn" and Why Children Fail" are also a good place to do further research.

I am involved in an educational reform movement here, a lot of our top notch educators are also involved. Homeschoolers, especially unschoolers are beginning to have an affect on what education should look like. Reseach supports our philosophy. The bottom line is that we all want our kids to grow up prepared for today's world and become happy and joyful adults, with their life's work giving them joy and self satisfaction. There are many pathways to get there, homeschooling is just one choice.
No one is suggesting more should homeschool, what they are saying is, maybe some of the freedoms that homeshooled kids have, should also be given to traditionally schooled kids.

One thing I do hope everyone realizes is that how your child's education is delivered is a choice, it is not something that has to be done the way the " system " dictates. There are many different choices and each of us should put a lot of thought into the choice we make, because rather our children are in traditional school, homeschool, or a combination, it is important to be sensitive to our child's desires and
comfort zones. Many kids feel trapped and reconcile themselves to accepting their situation, just doing what they feel is expected, letting others decide.

I hope this gives you some of what you were looking for. I am happy to answer any questions, I find it an interesting subject and one that should be discussed.

[Or-Tal Kiriati]

Thanks for this information.
I agree - homeschooling doesn't fit every kid, but you can say the same about the traditional school system. It simply can't work for everybody. Kids are different and they have different needs. I think that is probably why there is a growing variety of schools. Like open or democratic schools that blossom in the last decade in Israel.

I just had a conversation with a dad from my young son's class. It's second grade. Both of us also have bigger kids.
We discussed the fact that while the world, in so many aspects, recognizes the individual more and more, the education system, in most cases, does not.
It's not the system's fault: it is very difficult, I think, for one teacher, who has to work sometimes with 30-40 kids in a classroom, to take time to work with the individuals and individualism in class, rather than with the class as a uniform unit.
There are exceptional teachers who can create a combination and allow room for the individual student. In such classes you get to see a different process of learning, not to mention respect (plus) for the teacher.

I like to make this - probably unfair - comparison between the evolvement of the Internet and history of education. While the Internet is very young as a system, the education is ancient.
The move from static web site - to conversational web is a mark of our motion in history.
But education, in most cases, and I am being general here, is still static and not conversational. In the rare occasions where teachers, educators and education leaders, (such as Firesidelearning members...) open a conversational channel - you get an amazing result, exciting feelings, feelings of illuminations and hope, for me (best example is on Connie's Phoenix blog post).

If I have to send my kids to school the least I want to do is make sure that it fits them, they are reasonably happy in their class, it advances them and contributes to them and not the opposite.

Over the past few days I thought of "a school for homeschoolers". It occurred to me that if my kids could choose which classes to go to, they would probably be more motivated in those classes and to do stuff at home. If there was a place where kids could take classes according to their choice, and a variety of those, and also get to meet with friends and perhaps share interests and learning processes with peers - it would be the ultimate "open school".

But this idea, and the democratic schools which have a similar idea, do not work with every kid. Again. Nor does it work for every parent.